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  • Skrivet av: Tallahassee
    2011-11-08 01:01
    It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.

    Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

    Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.

    Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

    Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

    Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

    The only sure things are Death and Taxes...and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.